A Tale of Two Prophets

Joseph Smith and Prophet Yahweh


"And it came to pass that he saw One descending out of the midst of heaven, and he beheld that his luster was above that of the sun at noon-day." - I Nephi 1:9, The Book of Mormon

Still keeping the occasional eye on "Prophet Yahweh," former Marine. After all, his period of "public summoning" is only 45 days, and I don't want to think my attention span is so shattered I'm not good for that.

Of course Yahweh's credibility, such as it was, has taken some hits in the past week. Notably his adamant refusal to summon UFOs "unless it is both clear and calm." (He claims he doesn't want debris carried on the wind to be mistaken for a space ship, but I've never heard even a UFO debunker say "You just saw a candy wrapper.") Still, Yahweh's credibility was never really the issue for me. He could be a con man, and still be an unwitting agent of deception; a mind-controlled patsy playing a part in the long-anticipated "alien threat" rollout. And many of Yahweh's orbs do bear an uncanny resemblance to the chemtrail orb videotaped by Clifford Carnicom, and to similar chemtrail/orb phenomenon observed by many others. (By the way, Godlike Productions is maintaining a large archive of earlier summonings by Yahweh, and not all of them are orbs. Some are cylindrical, some boomerang-shaped.)

Luciferian remote viewer Aaron Donahue claims to have "mind probed" Prophet Yahweh and found him sincere, but manipulated by Christian forces "designed to ridicule and discredit the Luciferian movement." (Presuming it's all about him, Donahue says "Someone has heard me and they do not like what I have to say. I am stunned at just how far they are willing to go.")

Donahue may be a good remote viewer, but he needs to brush up on compartive religions. Prophet Yahweh's theological platform is not Christian; it's Black Hebrew Israelite. He believes African Americans are actually the lost tribes of Israel, and that his Yahweh will lead them back to the Promised Land. This not-so-fine point of distinction was also initially lost on many of the prophet's early web boosters, who mistook his Yahweh for theirs, or at least for an inclusive, I'd like to buy the world a Coke brother from another planet. And perhaps, like Donahue, they needed it to be about them, too. Regardless, it meant many of those who accepted Prophet Yahweh's interpretations of the summonings needed to backpeddle, because it was suddenly more comforting to believe them to be hoaxes.

Another American prophet, Joseph Smith, adopted the lost tribes leitmotif for his Mormon religion. That both accounts are fanciful rather than historical does not matter to the respective believers. And as Prophet Yahweh has a core group to vouch for the video sightings ("What did you see, brother?" he'll often prompt), so Smith had three witnesses who swore they saw the "Nephi plates" of gold, inscribed in "reformed Egyptian," which Smith claimed to have translated (though all three were subsequently excommunicated from the Church of Latter Day Saints).

Prophet Yahweh is taking a lot of heat from people who are impatient for light. To illustrate, he reprinted a couple of hateful emails in this post: "I HATE YOU for giving so many people some hope and conning everyone about something that would change the world." Prophet Yahweh replies, "I am asking all of you, who are not patient with me, and who feel that things are not moving fast enough for you, to please unsubscribe from my group as soon as possible." To his impatient believers - "I still have faith in you. Come on lets do it, prove to everyone" - he writes "The type of thing that is happening is not in my control. I can not control when UFOs or Spaceships are to appear. I am told when, where, and with whom I am to summon for. If you all are thinking that I am deliberately trying to buy time, you are so very wrong."

Still, he smells like a bouqet of undebunked roses compared to Smith, whose lengthy rap sheet is naturally ascribed by his followers to "persecution." "About four dozen easily verified lawsuits have been recorded, not counting his criminal offenses. At least five arrests resulted in convictions. Joseph had this to say about his dealings with the laws: 'It is all of the devil – all corruption. Come on! Ye prosecutors! Ye false swearers! All hell, boil over! Ye burning mountains, roll down your lava! For I will come out on top at last.'"

I doubt Smith would have faired as well as he did if he'd lived in an information age, given that, "as early as 1834 E.D. Howe, an investigative journalist of the period, published a collection of affidavits from friends and neighbours of Smith who described him as a lazy and mendacious religious con man. Another investigator discovered a novel by the Reverend Simon Spalding that was alleged to be the true source of the Book of Mormon."

Prophet Yahweh claims his life has been threatened. Smith's life was taken. Martyrdom, or rather a violent end that can be spun as a martyr's death, is not the worst thing that can befall religious leaders. "Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of His saints." Often, it's the best thing that ever happened to their religions.

Monday night, Prophet Yahweh posted this update to his Yahoo group:

Last night I received more instructions that seem to suggest that YAHWEH is taking control of my circumstances and putting me in motion. As I laid upon my head, visions were revealed that lets me know that YAHWEH is preparing to make His move to bring the media before Him. In the visions, I saw myself calling all the TV stations in the Las Vegas area and talking to them. I heard myself saying something about them bringing their cameras before me so I can summon for them.

This I have not done!

...

After seeing me aggressively contacting the TV stations here, I heard the following words:

"THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO."

"SUMMON ONLY FOR TELEVISION STATIONS. SPREAD YOUR HANDS ONLY FOR TELEVISION STATIONS."

"NOW YOU ARE IN TUNE WITH ME AND MY WILL FOR YOU."

Prophet Yahweh's mythos of a black superman who'll descend in a spaceship and restore the glory of his people is no less plausible than Joseph Smith's of Jesus Christ in the New World preaching to imaginary nations. In fact, I'd call Yahweh the better prophet, because at least he produced something for the cameras; Smith's "golden plates" were, ahem, "taken back to Heaven" before their existence could be independently confirmed. (If Smith had opened a Yahoo group to promote the message of the Angel Maroni, his inbox would be overflowing with the likes of "I hate you for giving me hope - what the hell is "Reformed Egyptian"?!?")

The difference between the two is not the span of time - we may like to believe otherwise, but most people think in much the same way that people thought in the mid-19th Century - but the spans of race and class, which remain America's great divides. To many middle-class, white observers who were titilated at the thought of flying saucers over Las Vegas, it was an affront to learn the message of the Prophet Yahweh's summonings. And religious manifestations always carry a message, whether or not they're counterfeit.

Even if nothing beyond dispute comes out of the sky when Prophet Yahweh spreads his hands for television, the story is still fascinating. Because this is how religions incubate - especially, it seems, American religions - and religions have always been a powerful mechanism for social control. Whether this one catches on is a roll of the dice. It remains to be seen if the dice are loaded.